A Letter to Anyone Missing Someone This Christmas
If you are reading this and there is someone you wish were here this Christmas, this letter is for you.
You may be carrying their absence quietly. You may be smiling for others while feeling a heaviness that words don’t quite capture. Or you may feel raw, tearful, or unsure how you are meant to get through the next few days at all. However this season feels for you, please know that your experience is valid.
Christmas has a way of magnifying what and who is missing. Familiar songs, traditions, and gatherings can gently (or not so gently) remind us of love that hasn’t gone anywhere, even though the person we shared it with is no longer here.
There Is No Right Way to Feel
Some people feel numb at Christmas after a loss. Others feel waves of sadness that come without warning. You might feel moments of comfort followed by guilt for laughing, or frustration that the world seems to carry on as normal.
All of this is normal.
Grief does not follow a festive timetable. It does not pause for Christmas Day or adjust itself for family plans. You are not doing this “wrong” if your emotions don’t match the season around you.
You Don’t Have to Be Festive
It is okay if you don’t decorate the house this year. It is okay if the tree stays in the loft, or if the cards don’t get written. It is okay if you leave a gathering early, or decide not to go at all.

You are allowed to protect your energy.
Christmas will come again. Traditions can wait. What matters most is looking after yourself in whatever way feels manageable right now.
Love Doesn’t End
Missing someone at Christmas is a reflection of love, not weakness. The ache you feel exists because the relationship mattered, and it still does.
You may notice their presence in small things: a recipe you remember them making, a song they loved, a phrase they always used. These moments can hurt, but they can also be reminders that love doesn’t disappear when someone dies.
It simply changes shape.
It’s Okay to Remember Them
Some people worry that acknowledging the person they’re missing will make the day harder for others. In reality, remembering someone often brings relief.

That might mean:
- Saying their name
- Sharing a short memory
- Lighting a candle
- Taking a quiet moment alone
You don’t need permission to remember.
You don’t need to explain your reasons.
Those moments belong to you.
And It’s Okay If You Can’t
If remembering feels too painful this year, that’s okay too.
You are not failing your loved one by choosing not to engage with memories right now. Grief moves in cycles, and there may be a different Christmas when remembrance feels gentler.
There is no deadline.
You Are Not Alone. Even If It Feels That Way.
Grief can be incredibly lonely, especially during a season focused on togetherness. Even when surrounded by people, you may feel separate, as though no one quite understands what you’ve lost.
If that resonates, please know this: many others are feeling the same quiet ache right now. You may not see it, but you are not alone in this experience.
Reaching out, whether to a friend, a family member, or a support organisation is not a sign of weakness. It is a human response to loss.
A Gentle Word From Our Family to Yours
At Regency Funeral Directors, we meet families at some of the hardest moments of their lives. We know that our care doesn’t end once the funeral is over, and that Christmas can reopen wounds you thought had begun to heal.

If you need reassurance, guidance, or simply someone to listen without judgement, we are here. There is no obligation, no pressure, and no expectation.
A Quiet Closing Thought
If this Christmas feels heavy, please be kind to yourself.
If all you can do is get through the day, that is enough.
And if love is what you’re feeling beneath the grief, even when it hurts, then that love still matters.
If you would like to Speak to someone, our caring team is available 24 hours a day on 01480 759 408.
With compassion from Regency Funeral Directors, supporting families across Cambridgeshire.
